"The more we sweat in training, the less we bleed on the streets."

"Your life is not my fault."

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you
wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"That says POLICE, not taxi!"

"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?"

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"You can't outrun a radio."

"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Someone, somewhere is practicing. If you're not, and someday, if you should meet, you will lose."

"Every dog has it's day. Good dogs have two."

"Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"I'd rather have the gear and not need it than need the gear I don't have."

"If its worth stopping, its worth writing."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkeypoop."

"Listen with your ears, not with your mouth."

"Some people are meant to be cops, and some people are meant to call the cops."

"God made tomorrow for the crooks we don't catch today."

"God must love stupid people, 'cause he sure made a lot of them."

"Life's tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Law enforcement is not a spectator sport."

"I'm glad to hear the chief of police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

"You might beat the rap, but you can't beat the ride."

"We don't hire cops in this department, we hire common sense and make cops from it."

"Shoot them until they think they're dead."

"I don't believe they should use the electric chair, they need to use electric bleachers."

"Your arrest. You catch 'em, you clean 'em."

"There are no dress rehearsals, and this is the big time."

(AP)Antioch College's commencement speaker won't be delivering the keynote address in person, as much as he might like to. That's because he's on death row. Mumia Abu-Jamal, a radio journalist and former Black Panther activist convicted of killing a Philadelphia police officer in 1981, will speak at the April 29 graduation via audiotape, as he did last year at  Washington's Evergreen State College.

The students asked Abu-Jamal to speak on one of two topics: How one individual can affect the world or the true meaning of revolution. "The issue is not to get a controversial speaker," said senior Teishan Latner.
"The issue is to raise greater public awareness for his cause."
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We all know the drill. Philadelphia Police Officer Daniel Faulkner was murdered by Abu-Jamal in 1981. Last year COPS led a deluge of protest letters to Evergreen State College in Washington. Antioch College is in Yellow Springs, OH. Graduation is set for April 29. Pass the word to ALL contacts you have, especially survivors and law enforcement! I couldn't find a listing of the Board of Trustees.

President Robert Devine 
Antioch College 
President's Suite 
795 Livermore Street 
Yellow Springs, OH 45387 
bdevine@antioch-college.edu 
800-543-9436                    PLEASE CALL 800 AND GIVE OPINION.......fgs 
937-767-7331 

NEW JERSEY STATE TROOPERS NYPD OFFICERS Recently Individuals who nave publicly criticized the NJSP & NYPD Served no purpose but to add fuel to fires which demoralize the police and divide the police and the community.   AmeriCop believes it is time to respond. Hence, we publicly convey to those individuals who seek division and not unity in clear unmistakable terms, that New Jersey State Troopers and the men and women who serve on the NYPD have earned the right to be called THE GREATEST COPS IN THE WORLD!   As a show of support for the heroes,  AmeriCop offers the public,  free badges which can be displayed on cars with the words Thank You on them.  On March 14th AmeriCop will be distributing these badges in New Jersey and at One Police Plaza in NY.   Badges and further, into about AmeriCop can be obtained by calling 973-562-0143,  E-Mail AmerlCop2000@aol.com  Or AmeriCop, PO BOX 225, Nutley NJ 07110     We believe its time to Speak up and support America's Law enforcement officers.   - Steven Rogers Steven Rogers is a Sergeant with the Nutley Police Department and President of AmeriCop

Stupid Criminal # 1
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 A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there  was a car phone in it.  The policeman taking the report called the  phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in  the newspaper and wanted to buy the car.  They arranged to meet,  and the thief was arrested.

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 Stupid Criminal # 2
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 Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in  Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant.   The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a  "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun.  Nonsense,  said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that  day in court.  He handed it over so the judge could see it.  The  judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so  hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.

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 Stupid Criminal # 3
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 Oklahoma City-Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of  a convenience store in a district court when he fired his lawyer.   Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing  a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified  that Newton was the robber.  Newton jumped up, accused the woman  of lying, and then said, "I should have blown your head off." The  defendant paused, then quickly added, "if I'd been the one that was  there."  The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended  a 30-year sentence.

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 Stupid Criminal # 4
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 R.C. Gaitlan, 21 walked up to two patrol officers who were showing  their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit  neighborhood.  When he asked how the system worked, the officer  asked him for identification.  Gaitlan gave them his drivers  license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later  they arrested Gaitlan because information on the screen showed  Gaitlan was wanted for a two year old armed robbery in St. Louis,  Missouri. 

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 Stupid Criminal # 5
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 A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and  demanded all the cash from the cash drawer.  After the cashier  put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that  he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.  He told the cashier  to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said  "Because I don't believe you are over 21."  The robber said he  was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because  he  didn't believe him.  At this point the robber took his driver's  license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk  looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and  he put the scotch in the bag.  The robber then ran from the store  with his loot.  The cashier promptly called the police and gave  the name and address of the robber that  he got off the license.    They arrested the robber two hours later.

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 Stupid Criminal # 6
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 A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously  waving revolvers.  The first one shouted,  Nobody move!"  When  his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. 
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 Stupid Criminal # 7
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 A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very rare,  very expensive cigars insured them against fire among other  things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of  cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on  the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.
 In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of  small fires."  The insurance company refused to pay, citing the  obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal  fashion.  The man sued.... and won.  In delivering the ruling the  judge agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated  evertheless  that the man held a policy from the company in which it had  warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that  it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered  to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.   Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the  insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000  for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed  the check, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of  arson.  With his own insurance claim and testimony from the  previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of  intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24  months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

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 Stupid Criminal # 8
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 A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into  the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.  Put all yur muny in  this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to  the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the  note and might call the police before he reached the teller  window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to  Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his  note to the Wells Fargo teller.  She read it and, surmising from  his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the  harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note  because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that  he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo  deposit slip or go  back to Bank of America.  Looking somewhat defeated, the man  said, "OK" and left.  The Wells Fargo teller then called the  police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was  waiting in line back at Bank of America.